It has been a long time my friend. A very long time. Nearly 7 months have passed since you went away- Yet it still feels like yesterday. I have avoided writing here, there was a space in time where I was angry at you. Angry that you left, angry that your beautiful children will grow up without you, that Coco won't know you, that you will be a distant memory to Bella, and sweet Senia will always hurt because she doesn't have you. I was angry because your family was not reason enough for you to stay- because our friendship was not reason enough for you to stay. I am glad the anger has passed, now I am back to being numb, sad, glad you have peace, and just plain missing my best friend.
I was listening to music on iTunes the other day, and there was a song that took me back to when you were here.. I smiled for a moment, and then realized that you would not be here for Father's Day. Your beautiful girls would not get to see you and give you home made cards, and help you unwrap presents- that they will not get to hug you, or tell you "I love you daddy" or listen to your favorite song with you. You will miss so much because you are not physically here- you already have. . .
But, life must go on. It is the one thing that i have learned. No matter what happens in my life, the world continues to move in many different directions, life doesn't stop just because I want it to sometimes... it is too busy to pause for a moment- yet that doesn't mean that I cannot.
Dear Dustin
